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Thursday, January 28, 2010

Where in the World is Ma-Maw?

That's the new game my grandchildren are playing. Some of them are going to follow me along my travel route. I love this.

People, mostly women, ask me all the time. "How could you leave your grandchildren?" I've never had a really good answer to give them. Maybe because I kept asking myself the same question.

But today, I know how and why I could leave them, although they are never farther away than my heart. The answer is... so that I can show them a different way of living.  A way that allows yourself to listen to the deepest callings inside of you.  And when you do, truth, love and conviction unfold and flow through the cells of your body.  It takes time, but eventually you step out from under the bushel basket that's keeps you hidden.  You let your light shine and the Universe becomes your beloved dance partner.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Effects of Saturn

Boy, can I tell that Saturn is active in my chart today.  Where did the expansiveness go that Jupiter brought in last week?  It's okay, though.  I still feel expanded.  But Saturn is providing me with an opportunity to undo some ridiculous concerns, little fears that pop in and out this morning like summer thunderstorms.

I live alone.  I like living alone.  I even like to travel alone but interestingly enough, all the trips this year are with other people.  Each travel adventure has come into my life as an opportunity presented to me by another person.   And since I love to travel and I love to expand my own inner personal horizons, I said "yes" to every opportunity.   And as I'm writing this, I'm remembering the message I received a couple days ago  - the one about bridging the gap between opposites - and I realize that my ability to interact with another person in close proximity on a daily basis may be the true ADVENTURE of every one of these trips. 

The first travel opportunity begins February 4.  I'll fly to Los Angeles, stay overnight, then board  the Coral Princess on February 5 for a 15 day cruise that stops in three locations in Mexico, three in Panama during which time we'll traverse the Panama Canal, (can't wait), then continue on to one-day destinations in Costa Rica, Colombia, and Aruba, ending up in Ft. Lauderdale on February 20.  We'll leave the Coral Princess and board a Holland America ship the same day.  Then cruise the Caribbean Islands for 7 days, returning to Ft. Lauderdale February 27, where we'll stay for a couple nights to get our land legs back before going our separate ways.  

And what are these fears that are popping in and out?  Well, I'm going to be sharing a teeny, tiny cabin onboard a ship with a friend for almost four weeks.  I'm wondering if we'll still be friends in March.  I do really well when I visit family but that's comfortable and I spend a few nights here and a few nights there among four children.  We seem to fall right back into our respective roles and enjoy the time we have together.  I've spent long periods of time with my sister and that's no problem at all.  We're so used to each other.  But this experience will be with someone I know very little about, at least in the living together every day, 24/7, way. 

My friend and I have discussed the fact that we don't have to be glued together the whole time.  It's a big ship.  He and I both like our own space and we are both willing to go our separate ways when we need time to ourselves, without it being offensive to the other person.  And before you conjure up any ideas about the he and the me going on this trip, my friend likes men. 

Little thoughts creep in today to let me know that I do have some concerns about our togetherness.  Mostly about myself.  Actually, all about myself.  Really dumb things like,  "What if I snore?"  I woke myself up the other night snoring.  I better get some of those breathing strips. "Will I scare him in the morning?"  I don't like to look at myself first thing.  I even hung a curtain over the mirrored closet so I won't  see myself getting out of bed in the morning.  "How do I look presentable in pj's?"  The girls don't ride high when the hardware is removed  Will it be a pain to dress inside the bathroom the whole time? OMG what if I'm seasick and stink up the bathroom or, even worse, throw up in front of him!  How big is a stateroom?  Will we be bumping into each other constantly?  I mean really, do others even concern themselves with these things.  Well,  women might, but men?  I think NOT!

The really dumb thing is that these kinds of thoughts would nag at me whether I was traveling with a woman or a man.  When I travel alone, I'm footloose and fancy free.   I'm used to doing what I want, when I want.  My personal habits and foibles aren't of noticeable concern to me until I know I'm going to display them in front of another person.  I manage to be respectable when I'm with other people but it's for a couple hours at a time.  Anyone can manage that.  These weird thoughts haunt me when I think about spending entire days with another person.  Nothing but old patterns rearing their ugly heads - first of all, wanting everyone to like me and then thinking that I have to be perfect in order for them to like me.  Just bein' real, here! 

Then I do my morning toning meditation and all of these concerns fly out the window on the wings of my voice.  The excitement of a new adventure returns.  I feel the contact between my friend and myself energetically and I know that it's all going to be purely  F-U-N no matter what happens.  And I can't wait to meet all the other people onboard the ship and in the ports along the way.  New interactions.  New relationships.  New energy impacts.  New experiences.  New life.  All coming together in dizzying ways.  And I know deep inside myself that in one way or another I'll expand and grow from the interactions I have with every person I meet, from every place that I visit and most especially from daily life with my friend.  And let's face it, our focus will be on enjoying ourselves, not paying bills, etc.  

And I recognize that I, too, will provide an opportunity of personal expansion for all the people I meet along the way.  What could be more fulfilling than that!  Thanks, Saturn, for showing up today and nudging these silly fears out of my system. When I return to Boulder in March, I'll still know who I AM but I won't be the same person who leaves here February 4.  And I can't wait to discover the new me along the way.


BTW.  A couple people said they tried to respond and it didn't work.  I'm trying to figure out why but I'm new to blogging so it could take awhile.  The button is clicked that says "Allow Responses."  You might need to set up a google account.  If you can't respond online and you want to, email me at

Also, some people have asked about toning.  Email me at with your questions and I'll be happy to answer them or give you information.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Preparing for the Cruise

My cruise is less than two weeks away.  I'm getting excited.  Most women at this point would be making hair appointments, scheduling mani-pedis, buying new clothes. Well me too.  Hair next week, nails the day before I leave.  The clothes.  Ugh!  It's not fun to look at summer clothes on a 65-1/2 year old winter body.  I couldn't even look at the bathing suit in the mirror.  It fit.  Covered everything that needs covering.

But there's another side of me too.  The side that works with energy, my own - the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual bodies - and also the energies of the world.  For the last year, I've been experimenting with focusing my attention on color, sound, and the creative geometries (platonic solids).  And I recognize that this work is beginning to bear fruit.  First of all, these wonderful travel opportunities have appeared and I've said "yes" to them.  Secondly, my skin is changing or at least people are beginning to tell me it is.  I've been asked several times recently, "What do you use on your skin?  It looks radiant."  Well, I use the same product on my face that I've used for 30 years - Oil of Olay active hydrating beauty fluid (about $7).  So I tell them about Oil of Olay but I emphasize that I believe this change is coming from the toning.

Toning is chanting sounds that correspond with particular colors, geometries and sections of the body.  I tone to heal my body, mind and emotions, to regenerate my vitality, to clear the energy within my own auric field and to clear the energy in the places I go before I go there, as well as in Mother Earth, etc.

Also while I tone, my High Self downloads information to me.  I don't always know what it means at the time I receive it but it always manifests later in my life.  The realization that it actually showed up usually is recognized by me after the fact. 

Today I was toning to clear the energy of the planes I'll fly on, the ships I'll be cruising, the stateroom I'll have, the ports of call.  Well, you get the idea.  And I received this message about the cruises while I was toning.

"Beloved, the main theme of the two cruises you will take seems to be opposition.  First, do what you can to recognize the underlying unity in opposites so that you can bridge the gap.  Secondly,you will come away with a clearer sense of the way opposed patterns and processes unfold from each other, rely on each other and return to each other."

Believe me when I say, I don't have any idea how this energy of opposition will play itself out or to what it refers.  In the past, the message might have frightened me a little bit, but it doesn't now.  It just makes me curious.  Perhaps it will be discovered in the various cultures I'll visit, perhaps it will be personal with another person I meet along the way or the person I'm traveling with.  I really don't know and won't try to guess.  But whatever it is, I'm sure that we will somehow bridge the gap and unify the opposites. 

The thought I have today of the underlying unity in opposites is that I am aware of things like,  hot and cold are both temperatures.  Light and Dark are the same energy thread of a 24 hour period we call day.  Men and women are people.  All people, no matter how different or what the race are humanity. 

This will be interesting.  If anyone has any thoughts, please share them. Stay tuned to see how the theme of opposites unfolds aboard a cruise beginning February 5 through the Panama Canal. 

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

New Discoveries

January 20, 2010

Today, I feel the excitement of the possibilities this year contains.  For a number of years now I've dedicated my life to expanding into the person I know that I am in the deepest part of me.  Most of my time has been dedicated to clearing my energy field of the past so that I could emerge as a truer me.   One of the many great discoveries I've had doing this is that clearing the past goes way beyond the present lifetime.

Now, in this moment, I am ready to begin experiencing life as the truer me. I am going to allow her to lead the way so that I can grow into my greater being through experiences with travel and communication.  My heart expands with joy and my soul dances just thinking about the people I will meet, the stories I will hear, and the experiences I will encounter as this new expanded me.  I can't wait to discover all the ways that I am like others because I believe that we are all connected in the unified field of life.  And I can't wait to discover through community with people I don't even know yet,  the ways I am unique.