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Monday, August 2, 2010

How To Tell When You've Been On the Road Too Long

  1. When you see the same truck driver several days in a row and he waves when he or you pass the other.
  2. When you recognize a Peter-Built Truck Cab from a Volvo Truck Cab.
  3. When you begin to fantasize about having a red Volvo Truck Cab some day.
  4. When you start talking to the singers in your iPod. I begged John Denver to take me with him on the Jet Plane.  And Eric Clapton just needs to forget about women and find something else to make him happy.  
  5. When you press your cruise control to slow down and you're not using cruise control.
  6. When you start counting baptist churches.  How does a town of 311 support the Free Will Baptist, the Community Baptist, Unity Baptist and the First Baptist?  And don't get me started on the Assemblies.
  7. When you start counting Triple X Adult Stores next to the churches.
  8. When it takes you more than 90 seconds to reach an upright position upon stepping out of the car.
  9. When you're using cruise control and step on the brake to make your car go faster.  Then wonder what's wrong with your car.
  10. When you start driving the speed limit as a social studies experiment.  The result is that regardless of whether the speed limit is 55, 65, 70, or 75, if you drive it you will be the slow car in the right hand lane that everybody passes up.
  11. When you continue to slam on your brakes when you see a cop car and you're driving the speed limit.  
  12. When you begin to meditate while driving the speed limit.  You feel the connection of the road with the tires.  You feel your connection with the car and the tires and the road.  Of course, that's not exactly the state you want to be in while driving.
I'll stop here.  One more day!  Hooray!  Tonight I'm cocooned in a really lovely Hampton Inn off I-65 in Nashville.  

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